Should Have Kept Living The Fantasy

She sits and ponders over what she has to do realizing there is nothing to do. So comes to mind her past. She remembers when she had things to do and who she did them with. How she felt when she did them with whomever she was with. Happier times making her realize that those times are possible. Realizing without resolution. Demanding she find the gumption to live that life again. With or without someone to live it with. She thinks what if? What if after all the years she could find these people one at a time and go back to having those good times. Sure people grow older and their lives change. But who knew. What if they had come to the same point in their lives that she was at. What if they remembered the same things and wondered where the person was that they had such a good time was too. What if?
Days and days of these thoughts turned into years. A little investigating from time to time to see if these people were still around to even attempt reconnecting.
Remembering things that were said between the two of them. Remembering being told that she was the love of their life. And more years passing hoping she still was the love of their life. Holding on to all those thoughts and feelings for years and years.
In her mind she held on to that hope. Hope that there could always be one of those soulmate reunions. Just like the stories you hear about a couple who dated in grade school or had a crush on eachother and ended up in their elderly years getting together and remaining together till they died.
Who wouldn't want that? She did. She fantasized about it.
Till the day...
She connects with one more and the one she thought the most about and thought through his own words she was the love of his life back then obviously not anymore. She's let down in a roundabout way. He's kind as he aslways was.. a words not mentioned in many conversations of the past. Infact the memories were not the same. They matched up years ago.. But somethings changed and they don't match up now.
She has to realize she is not the love of his life and their lives will never be together again in that way. But she will always hold her memories the way she remembered them before in a peaceful sort of way. Admitting it's never to happen. And how nice it would have been if her curiousities would have just subsided so she could still enjoy what's kept her going for so many decades. Hope
She should have kept living the fantasy and left well enough alone..
Now she will close and recreate the future and quit dreaming of the past. The future is what matters. It's the only place to go from here. Another silver lining. She can move on, and let go.
It was nice while it lasted. She has closed many doors recently.. Only one more ... But from this past one, hopefully she's learned..
Live the fantasy.. Leave the past alone.. and live the future.. :)